Chapter 21. Love hurts

We had two more hours till we reached the planet. Anna had com'd me wanting to speak to me. I walked to her quarters and found her and Scotty there. He looked well nervous and I leaned against the wall.

  "Yes?" My voice was warm.

  "I asked Anna to marry me." He paused, waiting for my response.

I swore my heart stopped. Anna my best friend. She was an android, but not android. She could feel and react. She could also age. I was stunned. My heart twisted and tears filled my eyes. I hugged Scotty to hide my almost painful reaction. I was happy for Anna and yet I hurt. I was confused to why.

"I am so happy for you both." Anna relaxed at my words and tears rolled down my face.
"You have always been a sister to me and shall remain so Anna." She laughed and hugged me so tight I could not breathe.

I made a gurgling noise and she released me giggling. I coughed and laughed.

You'll be my maid of honor right?" her voice was giddy.

I nodded then I took a step back feeling trapped. I loved Anna so much. I felt like I was losing her and as I watched her and Scotty together, I knew I was happy but at the same time jealous. Scotty drew her into his arms and gave her a warm kiss. Anna was so innocent and sweet. She looked so tiny and happy in his arms. I grinned at them both and excused myself. I heard them talking excitedly as I left.

I walked to the rec room and sat down. My fingers hovered over the keys.  I noted we had a hour before we reached the planet. Spock and Kirk where already talking to the Leader of the planet. So I began to play. The song had no words just sadness. I hummed in a low voice as my fingers glided along. After a bit I felt a hand touch my shoulder and my tear filled eyes looked at McCoy.

"Why does life have to hurt so bad when it should not?" I whispered. He picked me up and placed me in his lap. I leaned on him and let my self-sob. "I do not understand I am happy for Anna so why does it hurt?"

McCoy stroked my hair and he spoke in a soothing voice.
  "You are afraid of love Allora. What Harlen did to you scarred you. You trusted in him and loved in a young innocent way. He betrayed you and hurt you very badly. You are scared to trust and love again." His words made sense.

Once again I wondered why it was not McCoy I loved. He was handsome and smart. Kind and gentle, yet he did not make my heart skip a beat, or heat flood my body. I felt a gentle passion for him that I think had more to do with our mental bond then real flesh passion. I stayed there in his arms for a while leaning on his gentle strength. I leaned up and shook my head.

"I do believe my country gentleman, that I am crazy."

His laughter rumbled through the room.
  "You just now noticed that?"

I pinched his side and slid out of his lap in a haughty way.
  "Meanie." But my voice held gentle love.

He grinned and nodded.
  "Tough love that is what all doctors recommend."

I snorted.
  "That is because they are all bull headed."

We both laughed hard, at the old joke. I cleaned up my face and hugged his frame hard. Comforted by this gentle man.

  "Thanks for putting up with my silliness Bones."

He kissed my forehead.
  "Anytime miss Feisty."

We smiled and he left. I looked around the empty room and cleaned up. I left feeling better, but still a little sad. I walked slowly to the bridge trying to gather my thoughts. Loving McCoy would be easy, but my heart refused to feel that way. Of all men why this Vulcan? We where so different. This would not be an easy path. My hands tingled and I looked down noticing a blue flame around them. I gasped out and it vanished.  I looked around terrified some one else had seen it. Noticing I was alone I relaxed. I walked to the bridge but my mind was not on the mission.

  We sat in orbit for three hours till we could be positive we could get down there with out infecting our selves. The scene on the planet as we beamed down in our Bio suites was just like my vision. I shook under the onslaught of pain and death. Spock touched my arm feeling the waves of unbalance coming form me. I straightened at his touch and forced calm.

  The planet was hot and we where under the protective suites. Hours passed by and all we could do in many cases was ease their pain as they died. My eyes began to burn with un-shed tears. I could feel McCoy's frustration and rage at this virus growing. It was like nothing we had ever seen before. The deaths from it where violent and painful. I pulled away from the emotions as much as I could but by the end of the day it was getting too much.

I walked to Kirk and spoke softly.
   "Forgive me Captain. I need to get back to the ship. I am becoming burnt out. I am so sorry."

  His worried blue eyes looked into mine, what ever he saw gave him pause.
   "Go and only come back if you can."

I nodded ashamed at my self. I flipped open my com and Scotty beamed me back. I was decontaminated and I sat there shaking. Anna touched my shoulder. My burning eyes looked at her.

   "Teach me more about the gift of healing song Anna." My voice was scratchy with un-shed tears.

She nodded and we walked to the garden Sulu was taking care of. She sat down and I followed her. She pulled out a plant and cut it badly. I flinched at its pain. I centered my self and let the powers in me awaken. My skin tingled in away it had never before. I began to sing in a low smooth voice I had not even known I could sing in. At first nothing happened as the plant slowly died. I sunk father into my self. I noticed a white glow around the plant and it slowly began to heal. I continued this action until I was drained.

I looked up at her and gave a weak smile.
  "I think I am getting it."
  
Anna nodded.
  "Yes but you need rest, come out to dinner with me and Scotty?"

I stood and cleaned up. We walked silent to the dinning room. Scotty stood and gave Anna a soft kiss and I smiled with pleasure. We sat and made small talk, but soon after dinner my energy failed. Scotty and Anna helped me to my room and I collapsed exhausted into bed. I was so drained I did not even dream.

  The next morning I walked to the bridge slowly. The doors opened and I signaled to Kirk.

  "I need to train with Anna about something. I think I have a way to help McCoy."

He touched my shoulder and nodded.
  "Be safe."

I smiled and pressed my com.
   "Anna met me in med bay."  I waved to him and Spock then left.

Anna was at med bay door and we walked in. McCoy looked up.
  "What can I do you Allora?"

I smiled widely.
  "Let me play doctor?"

He gave wicked laugh.
  "With who?"

I blushed.
  "Oh shut up."

I walked over to a patient laughing as I went. I begin to sing as I did last night. As before nothing happened to I forced my self-deeper. Then the wound on his arm healed. I grinned with delight. I rested a moment then moved to the next one. Her wounds where more serious. I began to sing and after a while her burns on her arm healed, but when I went to stand I fainted.

  When I came through McCoy was shaking his head at me.
    "Lord save me from stubborn woman."

I kissed his cheek and left back to me room. I meditated most of the night